


The Babysitter Files

by BairnSidhe



Series: Bodies-verse [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Babysitting, Gen, and the hazards thereof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 07:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14587557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe
Summary: Exactly what is it like to babysit the children of Earth's Mightiest Family?Exhausting, terrifying, and precious.





	The Babysitter Files

**Author's Note:**

> Having been bribed by Atrafa, I am actually writing/posting this. It'll be a sporadic one, sort of the fluffier interlude to cleanse the brain pallet after I angst on y'all.

The first time Skye babysat, it was due to a double booking of Darcy and Natasha’s monthly brunch with Victor Von Doom on the same day Steve had arranged to take Bucky and Clint out for Family Shooting Range Time as an apology for accidentally smearing the two snipers in an ill-timed attempt to finally put that mural up in the rec room.  As a result, the tower and the visiting children of Darcy’s siblings, were left with Jarvis and Harley Keener being the only ones with any prior babysitting experience. Harley had taken one look at the day’s roster and announced he’d be in his lab, and Jarvis pointedly reminded everyone he didn’t have hands.

She had control of the situation, nominally at least, for the three hour duration between the boys leaving at eleven and the girls returning from Latveria at two.

Skye, however, was the type to overprepare, and had downloaded and read every one of Agent Danley’s reports from the past two months.  This, she hoped, would give her an edge. For instance, she knew Colin had just recovered from an ear infection and at the first sign of Caddell tugging his earlobe absently, began encouraging the children to drink lots of fluids.  She had Jarvis look up appropriate supplies for ear infections in five year olds and order anything he felt would be useful.

Thirty minutes later, she realized that there were consequences to allowing small children the run of a very well stocked and eccentric juice bar.

“Bruce?  What exactly was in the purple juice in the square jug?” she asked over the phone as she tried to track the speeding forms of the Harrow boys.

“Beets, mostly,” Bruce said, clearly still focused on his own work.  “And some pineapple for taste, lemon, ginger, a touch of ginseng tea… why do you ask?”

“Was there anything caffeinated in it?”

“Nooo…” Bruce went quiet.  “Did the Harrow boys drink it?”

“Yeah,” Skye admitted.  “NO! Boys, I am not letting you into the ducts, you KNOW you have to ask Jarvis’ permission before you take the grates off the vents.”

“Tell them to meet me in Hulk’s room, I’ll help them run off the speed juice.”

“Thank you.”

The exercise with their large, and importantly calm, friend seemed to help, and Skye was able to get them to sit still for a lunch of mac and cheese and veggie casserole at noon.  Even the presence of zucchini didn’t kick up too much of a fuss, especially as Zoe and Harley were also at lunch, and the veggies were Zoe’s contribution. Thankful that these children seemed not to be the types to actively fight each other, Skye suggested reading time after lunch.  She logged the choice of The Boxcar Children at twelve thirty, and began to read. At exactly twelve forty two, Little disappeared.

“What do you mean gone?” Skye asked Jarvis, beginning to panic.  “What happened to state of the art surveillance?”

“As much as Sir would shudder to hear me say it, Agent Barnes, Mages.  Mages happened to state of the art surveillance. She gets up at twelve forty one to go to the bathroom, tells you she doesn’t want assistance, rounds a corner and vanishes from the security feed.”

“Loki is gonna kill me,” Skye sighed, and looked down at Caddell Harrow.  “Not really. He’ll be upset. And now I’m scarring Ciara’s kids. Score one for Auntie Skye.”

“She wen’ to get some distance,” Caddell said.  “She likes the books, ‘cause they help her reframe what happened.  Gives it a diff’rent texture. Like putting soap in finger paint. But then she needs to go wash the new thing off, ‘cause it don’t feel right yet.”

Skye processed.  Oh.

Duh.

“Where would she go for that?”

“The Jungle Gym,” Colin added.  “But she’ll come back if she needs something from us.”

“Which jungle gym?” Skye asked.  The boys looked at her and she sighed.  “Okay, fair. Giving myself the duh on that one.  Jarvis? Can you flag any requests coming from the Asym Warfare Gym as highest priority, and warn anyone about to use it until Little’s ready to come out?”

“Indeed, Agent Barnes.  May I recommend a card game while you wait?  Darcy recently bought several braille editions of the game Fluxx, and I believe the boys will appreciate the fluid play mechanics.”

So they played Fluxx.  The first three games they were alone, and then somewhere during the fourth game, Skye noticed she’d dealt Little in.  The girl’s milky eyes had red around the edges, but her face showed no sign of lingering pain. That… didn’t necessarily mean anything, but Skye was determined to let the kid have the room she needed.  Matt had hated people fussing over him. She considered looking him up, but then Colin and Caddell got into a fight over the use of Draw Five, Play All, Play One as a strategy, and she dismissed the idea in favor of stopping a brawl.

After Fluxx, the boys were still cooling off, so she set them in front of the media room’s giant TV with Stitch Has A Glitch playing, and started to clean up.  She’d just managed to get the last of the beet juice stains out of the kitchen floor when Natasha snuck a lightning fast hug around her waist from behind and slipped off to her room.

“The boys give you trouble?” Darcy asked.

“We can’t play Fluxx with actual cards until their hands can hold half the deck,” Skye said bluntly.  “And labeling the juices would be good if anyone’s made an energy mix lately.”

Darcy laughed.  “These are probably good ideas for childcare in general, and nuggets of great wisdom to anyone who has to watch these specific kids.  What about Little?”

“Boxcar Children,” Skye said by way of an answer.  Loki, emerging from the hallway sans overcoat and scarf winced.

“One of those days, then?” he asked.

Skye nodded.  “They’re in the media room watching the second Lilo and Stitch movie, since the twins needed reminding how we love people who may or may not have raised up their badness level.”

Loki swept out without comment, and Skye sighed.  “Am I off the clock now?”

“You’re off the clock,” Darcy said warmly.  “Go eat comfort junk and then sleep, you need it.”

“Yay!” Sky said, and then it turned into a yawn.  “I survived. Kneel before me, for I am mighty upon this day.”

Darcy laughed and pushed her towards the elevator.


End file.
